Ladies, pop a Xanax before you read this. Gents, as you were. Let me say up front, I fail to see the big deal made over Valentine’s Day…
So I’m having a convo with a girlfriend about the hoopla that ensues every year this time over Valentine’s Day. I jokingly suggested this morning that I would send all my single girlfriends a gift basket with Xanax prescriptions… you know, to take the edge off. That may or may not go over well with some, but again I ask, what is the big deal?
Flowers, candy, gifts, romantic dinner, something special… it all sounds very nice, but all the pressure for one day? She made a very good point – it’s mostly the women who make a big deal (some men do too, but let’s keep it real) and it’s about the PUBLIC grand gesture. You send her flowers at work. That is NOT about her – that’s for the benefit of her co-workers and friends. Keep it real people. That gesture and the “validation” that comes with it does not a relationship make. I’ve been “one of the guys” for far too long to know that the grand gesture on the 14th is often followed up by the “consolation prize” on the 15th. Keep it real people. Before you throw a hissy fit, not all men play that game – but don’t try to pretend that many do not. Keep it real people.
The fluff and stuff aside, my real issue is this: what do you do for the rest of the year? Do you sit around waiting for Valentine’s Day to do something romantic/special for your significant other? If you do, I’m sorry but you may have missed the point of the relationship in the first place and good luck. If you don’t, kudos to you. Birthdays, anniversaries and such “special” occasions aside, if you need a reason (read: Hallmark needs to tell you that it’s February 14th so break out the champagne), you’re doing it wrong.
In the words of my eclectic friend – “I like nice things. ALL YEAR ROUND.”
No. This does not mean you need diamonds every month. Keep it real people. This is simply stating that little things, often more than big things, mean a lot. When last have you done something special for your significant other, just because? Think about it. Something that gave them pause, if even just for a moment, and made them feel loved and appreciated. If you can’t remember, I suggest you get on it and not just because it’s Valentine’s Day this week. Relationships have cracked under the pressure of having to do something fantastic for the great “day of love”. If that’s not the biggest sign that the day-to-day is lacking… something… then just keep it moving, nothing to see here.
Ladies, don’t give your girlfriend grief if she and her man didn’t need to shout each others’ names from the rooftops and paint the town red on the day. It could just mean they validate their relationship to themselves, your opinion is not really necessary. This is not a snub to you, but keep it real, you are not one of the two people in their relationship.
And a last word for the gents, if you’re into the grand gesture for Valentine’s Day then by all means rock on and do whatever makes you and your “other” happy. Don’t let me rain on that parade but please, unless she LOVES roses… come up with something a little more imaginative.
I could go on and on.. but I should get back to work now… *bring on the “single compensation” rants – but be sure to look at your own situation carefully first*
Keep it real people.