I’ve come to realise in my adult life, that not everyone has them. Not necessarily a bad thing, but they do come with unique challenges.
Since I became a parent, that role is one of those non-negotiable responsibilities. Pretty much everything takes a back seat to the tasks required for the job. Let me say up front, I really miss sleeping in on weekends and happy hour. Those are the least in the grand scheme of things – the time for the other people in my life is a tricky subject however.
Relationships, both personal and friendships, are truly tested in a time like this. It tends to progress like this: after a few times of saying “sorry, no I can’t go/do that” you move into the after thought category. A couple more episodes of that and you move into the twice a year “what’s new?” conversation. Not necessarily a bad thing in some cases, but it does give you a new perspective on relationships in general.
It’s been an interesting road to this point, lots of ups and downs, accompanied by the occasional pity party (I really do miss happy hour lol) but the bigger picture has demonstrated something that is true whether I like it or not. You make time for what’s important to YOU. OK, you may not be able to make as much of it as you’d like but that doesn’t mean you just give up on what’s important.
This is why I make time for cartoons, bedtime, dancing demonstrations, storybooks and colouring outside the lines. I’ll admit I have sacrificed my time for myself many times for these things, but I also accept that he won’t be shouting “mummy I need some help!” forever. I’ve got good friends who bring happy hour to me on a Friday night or babysit so I can get out without J in tow. Despite her chants of “I’ve raised my kids, I’m done!” I’ve got my mom who will help me sneak away for a manicure or get in a workout. Likewise my dad and my sister lend helping hands all the time. My awesome nanny – we fight like cats and dogs but we can’t do without each other.
I accept that certain types of relationships are not practical with non-negotiable responsibilities. Kids & careers are easily the most time consuming activities, which makes time outside of them that much more precious. Patience has never been my strong suit (I’m sure I’ve said this before lol) but these experiences are teaching me a great deal of it.
One morning in the not too distant future, I’m going to wake up and J won’t need me the way he does now. The uncertainty of next week, next year, the next 5 years doesn’t bother me anymore – if you know me personally you will know that this is a MAJOR breakthrough in my control freak nature. Pipe down penny section! There will be demands in my life, but quite likely very different from the ones I have now. But just like now, I’ll make the time for what’s important to me.
Here’s to more zombie movies, hold the mosquitos… I’ll be right here.
P. S. Penny section, I can still hear you!!