Singular Focus

Let me start by saying for the purpose of this exercise we will define “singular focus” as the inability to let go of an idea/subject regardless of the matter at hand. I hope that’s vague enough…I often accuse one of my nearest and dearest of this trait. He will disagree, but he knows it’s true. Lately I have unwillingly come to realise it is a personality trait we share. Once he starts, no matter how many times I attempt to change the subject, he never (and I mean never) fails to bring the conversation right back around to his topic of focus.

“Persistence” is often the excuse, believable most times, but I realise my reason for doing it is a bit different. I’m a chronic worrier. It makes me good at my job but a real pain in the ass otherwise. By the time you’ve finished this sentence, I’ve gone through near every possible scenario of how it will be interpreted – the good, the bad, the all of them. It’s just the way my mind works and experience has shown me that I make crappy decisions when I ignore the twists and turns in my head. When to and when not to focus on them – herein lies the real problem.

Yes, this is a big part of why I’m single. Considering where my choices have taken me in life to this point, I’m OK with that. I tend to always get caught up in the crisis of the moment and the big picture suffers as a result. I despise uncertainty – imagine 50 possible outcomes to a situation, only to realise I don’t have enough information to determine which would be the most likely. Ask my parents, my sister, my friends. I’m insufferable. Not to mention having my own child now. It is surprising I don’t have an ulcer.

So think of this as therapy. Knowing when to acknowledge the twists and turns but not make them become my singular focus is my personal challenge. I’m not psychic. I can’t always control the outcome of a situation. *groan* worrying is only going to make me wrinkle and grey before my time. Save it for my clients and the situations where it’s warranted. Learn to enjoy the moment and embrace the vulnerability.

I’ve just made every control freak cry out in pain and say a quiet prayer. It’s OK guys, this is a good thing – trust me.

And for the record, I’m not intentionally trying to make up for my habitual posting delinquency (I most likely will regress), I’ve just had some good inspiration lately….

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