A love letter…

Bear with me folks… it’s complicated…

“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.”
― Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

… Coelho has always been one of my favourite authors. I thank him for his words where I could not find my own.

“Tears are words that need to be written.”
― Paulo Coelho

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.”
― Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

It’s interesting sitting here looking at the daily reminders of you in my life.

“Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. Getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.”
― Paulo Coelho

I suppose under different circumstances they wouldn’t remind me of you, but an associative mind is both a blessing and a curse.

“At every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss.”
― Paulo Coelho

You asked me if I regret the decision two years ago to go down this road.

“It takes a huge effort to free yourself from memory”
― Paulo Coelho, Aleph

I said I hadn’t decided yet.

“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

Well, I have now.

“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Winner Stands Alone

Yes, I do.

“And, when you can’t go back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Most likely, one day I won’t.

“But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you’re fighting for.”
― Paulo Coelho

But I will have to do that without you.

“close some doors today. not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they lead you nowhere”
― Paulo Coelho

It’s not that I don’t love you.

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.”
― Paulo Coelho, Aleph

I love you more than you cared to know.

“Because true love never keeps a man from pursuing his destiny”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

It’s that you lied.

“If I must be faithful to someone or something, I have, first of all, have to be faithful to myself.”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

It’s that even in the face of the truth, you still couldn’t be honest.

“Forgive but do not forget, or you will be hurt again. Forgiving changes the perspectives. Forgetting loses the lesson.”
― Paulo Coelho

Yes, I hoped there was some way through it.

“It’s what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future.”
― Paulo Coelho, Aleph

But, I can’t travel that road alone.

“Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not.”
― Paulo Coelho

I love you, but I don’t deserve that and won’t live like that.

“Life is too short, or too long, for me to allow myself the luxury of living it so badly.”
― Paulo Coelho

Love,

K.

“Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free.”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

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